This is a post that I never thought i’d write but yet here it is. Tomorrow sees J’s second time in nursery and so far he is so excited about it. M never went and never needed nursery she was happy and absorbed in activities we did at home and whilst out and about, infact it was the whole reason this blog was born, from my love of stay at home parenting.
J is so different though, he is a boy and wow he has so much boy energy he wants to burn off, all day every day. And yes he loves to colour, paint and make dinosaurs out of playdough but I have felt for a while he needs something else. It was really strange admitting it and for a while I felt like a failure that home and trips out somehow didn’t do it for him. Anyway we were lucky enough to get a place in an amazing local nursery with the kindest staff there and one which has sprawling grounds and so many outdoor activities he is in his element. What’s also a bonus is that his little friend is there so they can spend monday mornings just playing together which is what they love to do.
I have never felt so much guilt as the other day when I left him behind, he on the other hand didn’t even look back to say bye. I worried the entire time he was gone and asked myself continually what have I done? He literally goes for one morning and one afternoon and that’s it. I shouldn’t worry but I did, I do!
I think the more the time goes on and the more we adapt to the nursery routine it will get easier. I think beneath the guilt is the realisation that this is right for him. I feel proud that me and my husband both thought the same and went with it. It might be a different path than we thought we’d follow and i’m going to miss my little guy so much but I am glad we saw that his needs were different to M’s and adapted for him rather than sticking to what we know just because we wanted him home all the time. No one ever said being a parent was easy hey?